I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
