You made me cry and you don't even care
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
