Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
