FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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