i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
