As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
