In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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