i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
