So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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