I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize