i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Just puked most of my soul out..
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
