i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
They took my balls.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
