No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
