I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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