just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Blood and glitter go together right?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
