You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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