Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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