Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
