he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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