I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
