it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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