I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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