Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I think I died a long time ago.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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