i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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