i jhust puked up my retainher.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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