Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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