I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
