dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
