Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Randomize
