We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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