I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
