we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
