Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
