This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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