Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
