absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Sober January is a disaster.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
