I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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