So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
