Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I bet he comes in French.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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