Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
