margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
