i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Less talking, more tequila
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Someone signed my nipple.
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