Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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