If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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