i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
