Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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