Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You took a bar mat shot.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
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