Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
