Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
