my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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