His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
why is half of my head shaved?
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