Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
