he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Someone came in the potted fern
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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