Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize