you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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