exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
