i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
