We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize