I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
