Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
