I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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