3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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