I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
There's always time for handjobs
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize