my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
