? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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