You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
