I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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