Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
being pregnant is like rehab
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize