We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
how drunk are you?
Several
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
