it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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