Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize