bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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