Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
she smelled like a LAN party
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
