What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
