Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
